Time to to become a smarter, healthier individual and a better family man!

Late last year, when I was analyzing my life, one I constantly felt that I had never been so happy and content in my life. Sharing that feeling with some near and dear ones was in fact the icing on the cake.

While it felt great, digging a little deeper, I realized a lot of that had to do with the outlook people around me had for me. Fortunately or unfortunately, a lot of that had to do with how I was doing on the professional front. Although, most of these people had little to no idea on what I do, or for whom! (BTW, I must admit in the project driven culture of consulting even I am not sure about it sometimes). Even for those who knew my role and my company, they had no idea of the complex matrix culture at BCG (which also happens to be the second best company to work for as a matter of fact). I realized that people felt good because I projected a better self. Anyways, the crux is that - it is complex and in the last year I was almost entirely focused on my work. Even in this blog I have talked of work for a full paragraph. Bottom line is - I did well here, got some drive, a sense of ownership, and the financial stability go along.

So in a typical consulting feedback style I asked "what my areas of development (AFDs) are and what is missing? In particular, how was I doing for my family and for myself? I thought I was doing good, at least it seemed that way. After all, I was giving myself time on Saturdays to relax and rejuvenate. I was travelling back and forth every week coast to coast to be with my family. I was talking to folks back in India on all Saturdays. But something was really missing? And then it struck me. I am not asking the right question... or at least not in the same way that I was evaluating my professional life - what am I achieving? By spending time in front of TV watching all day games, the only thing I gained was a few more pounds around my waist and a sense of belonging to the couch potato community. As for family, I missed on wishing people for most of the birthdays (may be just an indicator of my involvement), had little idea on what people so dear to me are looking for from their lives and worst of all even for Chitra and Maanas, I was physically there for 2 days, but did nothing to have any sense of responsibility, help or accomplishment. It was not a good feeling and I came back from the vacations with a heavy head. The time to transform was here again, I was not happy and content any more.

Manish wants to become a  smarter, healthier individual and a better family man!

I had to go to Moslow's Pyramid again to structure what I want do better this time. The idea to come up with a list instead of just one thing came from a fellow BCGer (the Principal on my current case). I had to find 5 things each on the personal and family front to improve. On the personal front, it had to link with Creativity, Confidence and a Sense of Achievement. On the family front, it had to link with Spontaneity, Understanding and Respect. This is what I finally came up with:

Personal Goals:

1. Start on poetry and play writing again (goal for 10 poems and 2 new plays)

2. Read at least 12 new books (one a month)

3. Learn Spanish (finish at least level 3)

4. Come to a 180 Lbs constant weight this year (touch 175 on scale)

5. Run a half marathon this year (currently aiming for the Labor day weekend)

Relational Goals:

1. Take at least 2 vacations this year with family

2. Start actively participating in Cooking on Saturdays (dinner is on me now!)

3. Learn to use our washing machine and dish washer

4. Develop one common activity with Chitra

5. Work on a wish list for entire family

I had thought of many more that didn't make the final list more so because I felt those are linked to one or other activities (e.g. I want to link travel to a new geography with vacation planning) or were more passive (listening to music) or had little measurable impact (reducing time spent on watching TV). Another criteria was to not include any negative resolutions here (e.g. I would not eat at McDonalds) as I think the pressure you build with this kind of negativity is not good and if you fail once then it seems the entire list of now up for questions. And hence came up my list.

Next, I needed to create a commitment system to stick to these goals, and even further to create an incentive system to ensure I make these goals my realities... and these both came in easy. I took the idea of publishing my goals to FaceBook to build some commitment (another steal from my Principal) and also decided to publish the monthly summary for people to know how I am doing (and hence to start my Blog again was not part of the resolutions). For the incentives, I made a list of items I would gift myself on achieving these goals (First 3 - a laptop bag, 5 - headphones, 7 - iPad and all - surprise gift).

So this is where I am with a long list and a desire to change. Will try to keep this updated and hope I make it!